Tanning Salon Worker Gifts

'Rare, medium or well done?'

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Sunbathing in Autumn

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

A gap between the solar panels

'I love us when we're tan.'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

Sun Worshipers

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'You're new here, aren't you?'

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

The Sun Bather

'Medium well, please.'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

Gym/Tan/Donut

"I smell bacon. Are you wearing sunscreen?"

"High time!"

'Did you just curdle?'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

Sun Umbrella