Tailgate Titans Gifts

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Snowmen Around The World...

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

'But you said to clean my room.'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Cocktailgating. . . .

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Go long!'

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

Early Tailgate Parties.

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

Ants shopping

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

Hospital Stores - "We'll have to clear out stores more often, I've just found this machine for 'ye casting out of devils'."

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

"It's a tailgate cooler."

"We call it a tailgate party."

'Just my luck, another tailgater'

'5 teeth or less.' supermarket checkout