Tailgating Gifts

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"It's a tailgate cooler."

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

'Go long!'

'He wouldn't need to walk for exercise, if he had a tail to wag.'

Handshakes.

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

'Oh forget it, I'll take a bath.'

'You're retiring from practice? Right in the middle of examining my dog?'

"Well it's not as if you didn't give her some cause to yell at you."

He'll 'stay' all right...on the velcro dogmat.

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'Well, I might not be able to fetch the newspaper for her, but she carries me around everywhere in her purse...'

'He likes to make sure we're not throwing away any of his stuff.'

'Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a vicious attack.'

'I've just been sold nine life insurance policies.'

"We call it a tailgate party."

'Just my luck, another tailgater'

'Look at the TV, Major! Go get him, boy!'