Tailgating Mugs

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Early Tailgate Parties.

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"It's a tailgate cooler."

Cocktailgating. . . .

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

'Go long!'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

Handshakes.

'Oh forget it, I'll take a bath.'

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

'He wouldn't need to walk for exercise, if he had a tail to wag.'

'You're retiring from practice? Right in the middle of examining my dog?'

Most importantly, we want to live in an area that had good public obedience schools.

He'll 'stay' all right...on the velcro dogmat.

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'Well, I might not be able to fetch the newspaper for her, but she carries me around everywhere in her purse...'