Tailgating Event Gifts

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

Meeting!

Thank You to Vaccinators

Sabrage

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Cocktailgating. . . .

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Go long!'

"Want to have a few pies after work?"

Big Cheese

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

Early Tailgate Parties.

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

'It's probably the only silverware we'll get this year...'

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

"Would you like to donate 1¢ for every word I text during a 5K walk?"

"We've a very special treat for you all now ladies. It's some W.I. members that haven't made a nude calendar..."

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

"It's a tailgate cooler."

"We call it a tailgate party."