Table Talk Enthusiast Gifts

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'I like you, you've got balls.'

An infinity pool table

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

The Walking TED Talk.

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Preserved

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Instead of a tip, I wrote you a poem.'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Oh, honey! The "Chef's Table!?!" I'm impressed!"

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.