Table Talk Aficionado Gifts

"Honey, will you pass the draft of the divorce decree?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

An infinity pool table

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

The Walking TED Talk.

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Preserved

"The last doggy bag."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

'I decided the world wasn't ready for the wheel, so I invented the desk.'

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

'All dogs have four legs. All tables have four legs. All dogs are tables."

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."