Bar Talk Aficionado Gifts

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Frog and Princess in Bar

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"I'm not whining."

'Tell me about it, buddy... I completely understand where you're coming from.'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''

"It's Olive isn't it?"