Table Talker Gifts

'I decided the world wasn't ready for the wheel, so I invented the desk.'

'Is anyone chairing this meeting?'

Variety of people having a meeting around a table.

"I said, with these new tax breaks, we'll be able to buy more leaves for the table."

"We only use this table every now and then. Not sure whether that makes it occasional or periodic?"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

I'm drunk and what I say can't go further than this table. It dies with me. I swear it. I don't hate Rudy. Not always. Sometimes I … Sometimes I … I don't not like him. Big news, Rudy.

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Preserved

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Cappuccino, like sushi, are my birthright.'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'Gesundheit.'

"How much longer? It's an emergency."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Time for tea and friendship.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Woman on the phone.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

The Hockey Puckey

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

'Instead of a tip, I wrote you a poem.'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

Passengers in express carriage

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!