Talkative Gifts

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Men gossiping

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

Dialogue

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Woman on the phone.

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

You can't get what up

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Water cooler talk stations."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

Preserved

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"