Talkative Companion Gifts

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

Man wrapped in conversation.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Woman on the phone.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

Dog and man on couch

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

Communication

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'