Talkative Typist Gifts

I will remain on mute...

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

Woman on the phone.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'Can you Type?'

'Hey! I'll do the talking! Okay?'

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.

Business gothic.

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

'What about this typist job?'

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

Snail Writer

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the letter O's contain a happy face.'

'Administrative positions in the Space Department require special skills.'

'See that letter from Jones and Company? Nicely typed.' - 'Good grammar too.'