Typist Gifts

Someone who knows apostrophes

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

'And he thinks I'm slow!'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Hi. The Bluebird of Happiness retired. I'm the Bluebird of Things Could Be Worse.'

'In this case I'm not sure 'Fat Finger Syndrome' is a design problem.'

She typed more pages, but he stacked his more neatly.

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Sorry about some of the punctuation -- I haven't learned the top row of the keyboard yet.'

"I didn't get all that stuff after 'Dear Sir'."

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Data Entry Marathon

'Where's the fine print key?'

'I can't stand the first page...so black and white!'

"Can you type?"

The quick brown dog jumps over the lazy red fox.

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

"Sorry, but while typing up that report, I had this desire to walk across the keyboard."

'Dear sir, yours is not the only company with staff problems..As you can see by all the typing errors..'

Hippex

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'My new boss expects me to touch-type, a skill I'll have to digitally remaster.'

'I'll bet you pressed ENTER, didn't you?'

'Well... Would you be willing to learn to type?'

'I'm bored too - Feel like starting a few wild, scandalous rumours?

"Why are you typing your own letters?"

I can type 500 words per minute.

Office Supplies/Secretary

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the letter O's contain a happy face.'

'What about this typist job?'

Business gothic.

Shorthand