Typographer Gifts

'Your resume is certainly memorable. You used a different font for every other word you wrote.'

"Scotch."

'Brother Mendel, I loved reading your Christmas letter!'

An old-fashioned printer using an Albion press.

Capitalist Bastard

The origins of bullet points.

"Whoa! Check out the kerning on that!"

"Do they come in any other fonts?"

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'I see you've used the typeface my ex-wife used when she faxed to tell me she had run off with her ski instructor...'

'Out! - We don't serve your type!'

"Phew, no Comic Sans at least."

'Shoot! I left a bunch of @#&%@!!** typographical symbols around here somewhere!'

"This is a very bad sign!"

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Homes of the font designers

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

"I'v been banished to this island. Apparently, creating the Comic Sans font didn't go over so well."

'Back off, you're not my type.'

Font Addict.

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

Old English detested when she had to mingle with the common "R's"

"I told you not to write our help sign in comic sans!"

"I can tell from your expression that you've noticed my custom kerning."

"Dammit, Jake - I said fetch the sheriff."

The most important part of your job application. Font selection.

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

"And one more thing... I'm sick and tired of Old English! Get me a new typeface!!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Al, that's crazy talk. It's not crazy talk, doctor, it's merely a crazy font.

I've given up on my youthful dreams of having a big income, a big house and a big car. At this point, I've settled for having a BIG FONT.

Ignore that guy - He thinks he deserves attention because he's italicized. I.

Would it be much trouble to change the font?

"Comic sans? I wouldn't rescue us."

A decorative initial from Punch.