Typing Enthusiast Gifts

Snail Writer

'Well, have you ever watched anybody type?'

'See that letter from Jones and Company? Nicely typed.' - 'Good grammar too.'

'Have you considered your x-height?'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"I got you a training keyboard to learn on."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Italica

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

A woman playing a keyboard

'Very good and to the point.'

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

The Escape Key

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

'Nice graphics.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

Sales Secretary

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'