Speed Typing Enthusiast Gifts

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

A woman playing a keyboard

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

'Nice graphics.'

The Escape Key

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Sales Secretary

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

The origins of bullet points.

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

A writer working on a typewriter is wearing a shirt with William Shakespeare's face on it.

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"