Modern Typist Gifts

"I can't type, but I can post 75 emoticons per minute."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Italica

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

'Very good and to the point.'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Nice graphics.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

School of Arts and Sciences.

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Just don't mention his size. He's so case-sensitive. D D d

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'I told you. . . H not S!'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Francis Picabia

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'