Talkative Tactician Gifts

"My dad shot an oryx once."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Woman on the phone.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"That was a rumor day."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

Stone Age

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

"Our marriage counselor would be so proud of us now."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

They're inflatable trade barriers!

The invisible hand of the marketplace.

'Sir, we're txting the enemy!'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

You're wearing your lab coat. What's up? Something big. Amending my unified theory of picking up chicks. Check it out. Explain, doctor. To start, you'll need a notepad and a gym membership.

Helms Burton Titulo III

What happened to your market share? Let me peel the 'Made In China' sticker off my new crystal ball and I'll tell you.