Talkative Professional Gifts

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Woman on the phone.

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

It's like playing hooky...I let my cell phone batteries die!

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

'Hey! I'll do the talking! Okay?'

Trump's Speechwriters

Messenger Pigeons

What they say. . . What I hear. . .

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

'It was a personality clash form the very beginning. My perfume versus his after shave!'

'If you're not sure of the name of a client then check it on the system, don't just shout 'Hey Fatso'.'

'Nurse, I said boil the instruments, not roast them.'

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

'That's what I call a workout! One hour of walking and 2 hours of running our mouths.'

'When I pick my nose, it means I'm going to object.'

"Do you play?"

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'i's' and cross the 't's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

"Method works, dear, but madness takes all."

"I'm not doing this if you're just coming keep disagreeing with me."

'When another barber cuts your hair, who does the talking?'

'Drop dead. Well that's a good start to our union negotiations.'

"Fine, desert me and go back to your computers, but I'm warning you...you blogging is killing good old fashioned water cooler chit chat!"

"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."

Man wrapped in conversation.

'Dude, you can't tweet condolences! That demands the gravitas of an email.'

"He'll talk your ear off."

'You come in here giving it all that.'