Systems Engineer Gifts

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Lots of 'systems chappies'.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Gadget geek.

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

The World Wide Web.

Artifishial Intelligence

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"We need to update your entire operating system."