Systems Manager Gifts

"These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously."

'Last call to hand in your old desktops. We also ask that all disco balls be removed.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Is this the new input device?'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Where was I?

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Early Tech Support

The Escape Key

'It looks like our data.'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

Kevin had a computer virus.

'We want people to see the human side of IT.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Error 404: Brain not found"

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"