Systems Designer Gifts

Lots of 'systems chappies'.

Finally, as one Systems Designer to another....

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

An idea box in a shower

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

For crying out loud Simon. Would you stop trying to reinvent the drag.

Floss Street Vendor

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Another new, really cool-looking gadget in a desperate search for a problem to solve.

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

Open Source.

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they... market a roll of tape that's easy to start every time?!

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'How do I tell the president we're looking at an ampersand-shaped recovery? He still doesn't get the supply curve.'

Most of his innovative product ideas first saw life in his home studio.

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

Man invents the recall

"Now, remember...don't tell Daddy you designed the software he uses at work... I want him to get to know you first!"

Till malfunction

"We worked out how to make the watch smaller, now we just need to figure out how to make it lighter!"