Systems Architect Gifts

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"Is there a dummy's guide for this book?"

The Computer Bore

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Computer Expert

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Computer monitor for a head.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Fixing the Computer.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'Everything is in the Cloud.'

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Cloud Computing.

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

Binary Man

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'