Software Engineer Gifts

"The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that converts hindsite into foresight."

'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

'Everything is in the Cloud.'

'I think he was bombarded with a little too much information!'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Computerising the galley - 'Productivity is up, but I miss my whip.'

Computer with owner on a leash like a dog

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

"I combine technical skill with a human interface."

'Computer Error'

"I think we could work very well together."

'What it comes down to is our software is too hard and our hardware is too soft.'

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't I be learning how to operate software that can solve that?'

'I would have called you sooner, but I had no idea you handled ransomware attacks!'

Computer screen - Tech support is temporarily suspended due to a Hindu holiday.

'Newsflash: Experts are warning that overloading the Cloud with billions of bytes could cause massive rain and flooding.'

'You borrowed $27,000 over the years to study computer sciences. According to our files, you now owe us $1.83.'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

A man jumps on a pile of papers in the Data Comprestion Unit.

"Have you tried turning it off and throwing it out the window?"

'Hold on a minute. I'm downloading an app to monitor my app downloading.'

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Data analysts realize their smart building has OCD.

'His breed is 'data retriever'.'