Future Software Engineer Gifts

"I've already spent a fortune on mobile devices for her. I guess the days of kids playing with pots and pans are over."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Artifishial Intelligence

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Mouse in a hamster wheel.