Future Software Engineer Gifts

"I've already spent a fortune on mobile devices for her. I guess the days of kids playing with pots and pans are over."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Artifishial Intelligence

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."