Software Geeks Gifts

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

The DaVinci Code

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

If nobody had invented graphics

Elfie Stick

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Big screen TV falling through floor

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"We don't talk anymore."

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''