Swords Gifts

"Did you enter the correct password?"

'It seems silly to me, too, but there's a local ordinance against handguns.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Disarm

Lady of the bath...

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

How Swordfish Are Born

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"But I use all of them!"

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Sabrage!

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'None shall pass!'

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Pub Kendo.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

King Richard I

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.