Sword Enthusiasts Gifts

The Sword in the Stone, 2020

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

How Swordfish Are Born

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

In/Out

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Sabrage!

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'None shall pass!'

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Pub Kendo.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.