Swordsmanship Admirer Gifts

'No sign of attack yet. Though, I think I see a signal coming through. What do you think a bunch of 'M's would mean?'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

How Swordfish Are Born

Decapitated coffee.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

Pub Kendo.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"