Sword Enthusiast Gifts

'Hi - I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

"Did you enter the correct password?"

Battle.

'Surely thou canst not believe I'll fall for that one!'

Croquembouche.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

"Damn odd way to get rid of dandruff!"

'Well, well, well...look who dropped his little sword!'

DE LUXE body piercing.

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

"I'm going to need to speak to someone from either personnel or maintenance."

'It's the technology of the future.'

Attila the Klutz.

"We like to make a big deal out of someone achieving partnership here."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Epic Battles

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

In/Out

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'None shall pass!'

Pub Kendo.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'