Swordplay Admirer Gifts

"Why is humor your only defense mechanism?"

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

Cyclops are bad pirate captains. . .

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'I think I've scored.'

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Pub Kendo.

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

Swords for Making America Great Again

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Scheduel.

"Let's hit the Beech."

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

'That's the trouble with being a termite. You eat yourself out of house and home!'

Fencing Lessons