Swordplay Fan Gifts

"Touche!"

'You know this is my first battle.' - 'Really? Mine too.'

A guy needs his fence fixed and a Fencing person turns up for the job, sword and all - 'Are you here for the fencing job...?'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

NINJA GRAZER

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

Statue attack.

"I hate playing with pros!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"All for one and one for. . ."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Epic Battles

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Pub Kendo.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Scheduel.

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.