Swordplay Lover Gifts

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

"I'm just saying there's no actual rule that we can't agree to a dive minute pee break."

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"I hate to say it, but we're mortgaged to the hilt."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Pub Kendo.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword