Collecting Swords Gifts

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I don't think it sends the right vibe.'

Swords for Making America Great Again

Punch Initials- S

Ethelred II

'They're searching for the King's Interventionist.'

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

I cut myself shaving.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Damn odd way to get rid of dandruff!"

"He called it a 'retreat,' but it looked more like a SCAMPER to me."

"Who's going to carve?"

"So, what's wrong with you then. . .?"

Lady of the bath...

Sabrage

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

How Swordfish Are Born

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

In/Out

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Sabrage!

Soldiers' Ego