Sword Collector Gifts

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"There might be some scarring."

'Walter Hillman sets out belatedly for the crusades'

'I tend to use humour as a defence and for attack, a Japanese Kendo sword.'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

Sabrage

"So, what's wrong with you then. . .?"

Rob Roy

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Man Karate Chops Stone To Get Sword Out.

I cut myself shaving.

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

A cavalier gentleman.

Ethelred II

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

In/Out

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lady of the bath...

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

How Swordfish Are Born

Decapitated coffee.

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

Sabrage!

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'None shall pass!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

Squeal like a pig!