Sword Collectors Gifts

'None shall pass!'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lady of the bath...

Warrior Woman

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

How Swordfish Are Born

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

In/Out

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Sabrage!

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Pub Kendo.

'After A Knights Hard Day'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Scheduel.