Sword And Shield Collector Gifts

'The battle for hearts and minds was proving too difficult, so I thought we'd just make do with heads.'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lady of the bath...

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Harry?... Is that you?"

How Swordfish Are Born

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

In/Out

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Sabrage!

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Soldiers' Ego

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

'None shall pass!'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

Watering can helmet.

'After A Knights Hard Day'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Knight school.

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'