Shield Collector Gifts

"Shoo!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Try me/try me/try me...

A little something aside for a rainy day

Man showing in the rain.

'It must be the dead sea.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Raining

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'It's an antique!'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Used wheels

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Feeling for shells

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

'You don't need a weather forecast. Just read mother natures' signs carefully and you know that it will start raining soon.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Horse racing puns

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Well, they did call for localized showers."