Armor Collector Gifts

'HA, HA! See the way arrows are deflected off my brand new breastplate?'

Battle.

"Think that's uncomfortable? Try an axe in the face."

"Let's not go to bed angry."

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

Soldiers' Ego

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

Knight school.

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

Watering can helmet.

Lumberjack Christmases.

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

Knight/Bird.

Knight Vision

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'There's a dangerously fine line between chivalry and being a goody-two-shoes.'