Sword And Shield Aficionado Gifts

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

In/Out

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

Pub Kendo.

Swords for Making America Great Again

Sabrage

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Scheduel.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

Ethelred II

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."