Sword Collector Pillows

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"There might be some scarring."

'Walter Hillman sets out belatedly for the crusades'

'I don't think it sends the right vibe.'

'I tend to use humour as a defence and for attack, a Japanese Kendo sword.'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

Sabrage

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

"So, what's wrong with you then. . .?"

Rob Roy

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Man Karate Chops Stone To Get Sword Out.

I cut myself shaving.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

A cavalier gentleman.

Ethelred II

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

In/Out

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lady of the bath...

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"Harry?... Is that you?"

How Swordfish Are Born

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"