Sword Collecting Pillows

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

A bearded man holding a sword

Rob Roy

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

"My tusk broke, so I had it mounted on a sword hilt to defend myself..."

Sabrage!

Man with Sword in Penholder

Become King or Win a Free Truss.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

How Swordfish Are Born

Tales of Other Days - Sir Roger Clevelly's Swordsmanship

Mitch McConnell's Impartial Justice

"Before we can make it official, we'll need you to pee into this cup."

"I am not a vengeful man, but I do enjoy a touch of retribution now and then."

Lady of the bath...

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

In/Out

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'None shall pass!'

Pub Kendo.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'