Sword Collecting T-Shirts

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Man at museum. See's a suit of armour labelled 'Made in Japan'.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

A bearded man holding a sword

"I seriously doubt that's going to count."

Rob Roy

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"My tusk broke, so I had it mounted on a sword hilt to defend myself..."

Sabrage!

Man with Sword in Penholder

Become King or Win a Free Truss.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

"I seriously doubt that's going to count."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

How Swordfish Are Born

Tales of Other Days - Sir Roger Clevelly's Swordsmanship

Mitch McConnell's Impartial Justice

"Before we can make it official, we'll need you to pee into this cup."

"I am not a vengeful man, but I do enjoy a touch of retribution now and then."

Lady of the bath...

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

In/Out

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."