Swimwear Enthusiasts Gifts

'There... How does that feel?'

Bathing suit.

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Mankini - One size fits all.

Lapdogs

Two piece outfits only.

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'Honestly, Clara, that bikini leaves little to the imagination And how long are you going to stand there, holding your stomachs in'

'Yessir! That's what I want to see around our company - innovation and the bravery to do things different!'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

"I spilled my drink."

No petting in the pool!

Thong World.

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

'Don't worry. We'll fit into these things by spring.'

'Swimwear taketh away. Footwear giveth back.'

Motor Channel Crossing.

MMM-MM, Cellulite

It's called, 'Paint a Picture, Buster, It'll Last Longer!'

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

'Is this the way to the beach?'

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

'Here's why it's so cheap. It's dry clean only.'

Human 'A': Tried on 500 swimsuits for 'bonus curves'. . .

"There is a difference, and I won't wear one."

"Adult diapers in the hot tub. Not...good."