Swimwear Aficionados Gifts

"Adult diapers in the hot tub. Not...good."

Mrs. Prissypaws thought her new neighbor was too free with his body.

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

'Miss Wislson please bring me my spear gun.'

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

Mankini - One size fits all.

Lapdogs

Two piece outfits only.

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'Frankly, this isn't the sort of Bear contry I was expecting !'

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

Bathing suit.

No petting in the pool!

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Thong World.

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"Honestly, you could never make me fly coach again after this." - Flying Fish

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'

"Yep, that's water retention."

'Is this the way to the beach?'

MMM-MM, Cellulite

'He's Dyslexic.'

'Swimwear taketh away. Footwear giveth back.'

'It'll be ready Tuesday.'

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

Motor Channel Crossing.

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'