Swimsuit Enthusiast Gifts

Excess Baggage: Before you head off to the pool in your new swimsuit, consider the sensibilities of your fellow cruise passengers.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

A man runs on the water from a shark.

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

Mankini - One size fits all.

"He never takes me anywhere."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

Lapdogs

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'Honestly, Clara, that bikini leaves little to the imagination And how long are you going to stand there, holding your stomachs in'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

No petting in the pool!

Thong World.

Yes, well, when you're grown up and king, your castle can have an indoor heated moat.

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Rip Taylor Tide

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

"He put up a decent fight."

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

'Yes, this is the deep end.'