Swim Enthusiast Gifts

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'Are you sure this guy from Alaska is in a speed suit'

"Sorry I missed my appointment Doc, I was a bit busy, can you see me now?

"God, if you get me back to shore, I'll give you everything I own. Okay, fifty percent of everything. How about ten percent plus community work..."

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

Drowning swimmer.

'Walter never goes anywhere without his flotation device.'

"I see JC is still practicing his backstroke."

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

No petting in the pool!

"I hear our new aquatics director is really good!"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Swimming Prankster

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

Cruise.

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

"He never takes me anywhere."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

"I thought it was deeper here."

Mankini - One size fits all.

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