Swimming Aficionado Gifts

'When I said shock the pool, I meant with chlorine!'

'Not very big is it?' - 'No, but it's 85 feet deep.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

100 Metres Butterfly

'Frankly I think he's taking swimming with the dolphins too far.'

Rip Taylor Tide

"Fancy a cheese dip."

A man runs on the water from a shark.

"Do you want to watch politicians promise to make American great again, or watch Olympics and bask in the glory of Katie Ledecky and Michael Phelps?"

"When you said you were up to 50 laps, I was impressed. But that was until I saw the size of your pool."

Rhinemaidens

'What do you mean stop him - he's become the main attraction.'

'It was good enough in 1905 it's good enough now.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Cheating Death

Bill Shankland

Synchronised swimmers launching off plank from pirate ship with 'Piralympics' painted on the side

'Swimming tones up the muscles and gives you poise.'

Swimmer.

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

'I like to swim with the dolphins!'

Please remain calm.

Yes, well, when you're grown up and king, your castle can have an indoor heated moat.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

'So who needs sonar?!'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Artifishial Intelligence

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"I think it loves us."

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'