Survivor Humorist Gifts

'What'

"One wish, and this is all you can think of?"

'...but where we're concerned I AM the last man on earth!'

'Okay, this time I've added - "How do you rate this message?" with one to five stars.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"This better be high tide."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Look! A penny!

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.