Survivalist Humorist Gifts

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

"And then one day the grid went down and never came back up."

'It's an application for village green status.'

Coronavirus Archipelago.

"We've been stranded on this island for years."

typical flight animals, always on the alert and ready to run: Antelopes and Jimmy Floethoober.

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

'Many creatures have adapted beautifully to the harsh life of the desert' - 'If I survive one more day...' 'It's like a furnace here.'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

"You were smart enough to store your food for the winter."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

'The worst part is not knowing how the flight movie ended.'

Man on a desert island uses fish bones to hold up a hammock.

"When I grow up, I want to have my own castaway, like you."

"Keep going Hank, you almost have it."

Castaway with BO

Cow in lifeboat...

"Certainly the friendly type, never fails to give us a wave."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"You know damn well I;m not vaccinated."

Covid Cases: 0

Drowning in the Desert

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

House of MREs.

'That's it, we're out of water: Thank goodness, we still have milk...'

'It's all decaffeinated!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Free back rub - it's a massage in a bottle.'

"Thank you...Thank you."

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

Man stranded in desert reaches phone cards only phone

Palm tree as big as the desert island.

"Call the boat, the beards are ready."

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.